Is the Man in the Yellow Hat getting any ass?

We know that he's a spineless, irresponsible dork who allows his monkey to ruin everyone elses's shit, but what we don't know is this: Does the man in the yellow hat get laid? He doesn't seem particularly straight OR gay. His absurd fashion sense does nothing to tip his sexual hand (it does however reveal that he suffers from some mutant strain of OCD). No self respecting gay man would have such predictably poor taste, and no straight man would insist on wearing only yellow right down to the fucking boxershorts. Before we simply disqualify him as an overgrown-manchild-sexual-neuter type thing, lets see who he might nail IF he could/would and, hell, lets throw in a 1-10 scale of likelihood for shits and giggles.

The Doorman. This guy is absolutely 100% gay. He dresses just as ridiculously altho a little snappier than the man, and just happens to live in the same building. Interestingly, during the "Night of the Weiner Dog" episode (aptly named?), Hundley slept over George's place because the Doorman was "going away for the night". During the evening, the man in the yellow hat kept running out of the apartment to "do laundry". He also appeared to be walking with a slight limp. Was this a scheme to keep the monkey and the dog, not to mention the delicate eyes of the viewing audience, clear of their little love-in? I'm saying maybe. Grade: 7.5

Professor Wiseman. The professor did look strangely hot in her running outfit in the "Personal Trainer" episode and the man does spend an awful lot of time with her. She's nearly impossible to put an age to, though. She could be as old as 55 or 60, and the man is somewhere around...christ. I have no idea. 35? This union somehow seems highly unlikely because she's super busy doing genius shit like sending monkeys to the Antarctic to research rare marine life and assigning monkeys to complex underwater satellite recovery missions. And I kinda think Pizza is nailing her. Grade: 2

Mrs. Renkin. Mrs. Renkin can do anything. She designed and built a cider juicing/bottling plant in her goddamned barn like one day after she straightened George's bike wheel and replaced the spokes. This is a sturdy frontier style woman. There is absolutely no way the man has what it takes to please her, and I'm sure she would have little place in her bedroom for such a whimsical sparrowfart. Grade: 1

Chef Pisghetti. NOPE. Here's the thing about Chef Pisghetti: He RULES. He gets super psyched about anything to do with food, he calls George, "Giorgio", and to boot - he does his best to run a green business! I love this man. And Netti is perfect for him. I'm assigning this one a Grade 0 minus out of respect for the great Chef Pisghetti and his darling Netti.

So if Yellow is indeed getting any ass, it likely belongs to the doorman. I just saw the episode where George, the Doorman, Yellow, and Hundley sailed to an island where George and Hundley got "accidentally separated" from their owners giving Doorman and Yellow another opportunity to whale away on each other. Plus the doorman was painted into a red and white striped boating outfit that practically begged for some dick.